That blue abyss

Thursday, July 29, 2010 by B.H.

With every beginning, there’s a corresponding end. Always I observe, before something –– that starts, something ends, before night trembles, twilight ceases, before it dawns the night has to melt; there’s always one side that has to lose hence the other side bags the victory.

Sun rises up, and sets in, some smile, some cry and some die but cosmos can’t care, and chirps are on even in the lowest of the low and never stop for deaths.

This rain is too ominous to be called ‘memorable’ in a sense, but we shall remember this rain always as a dark page of our chronicles. Plane crashed yesterday, a lot of people died, deaths everywhere, I see baleful darkness and reddest of the red –– blood, I hear the moans and cries of my people screaming out for their people, but death can’t care. And now, my friend, Bilal, he passed away a week ago, but I came to know about his demise now when the raindrops are striking the tin roof of the garage outside my window so hard that I can’t even concentrate what I’m thinking. I hate that noise; literally. Ill drops are descending the stairs everywhere, going low and low making me down and down. Every grief has its background music and vision. For me, it’s the noise of raindrops crashing on tin roof.

I am too confused and shocked to recall the memories of the moments that I spent with him in class. I don’t even know how he died; I just know that I lost someone, who used to sit beside me, who was with me when nobody was; there was a sparkle of loyalty in his eyes whenever he talked which I always overlooked, but that’s a stupid cliché I’d say. Because they say death makes a person more esteemed than ever. He was not my best friend and frankly I used to sit beside him only because he was always quiet and easy to endure. I am too low to write the memories. I feel too frail to type.

How is it like when you lose a friend, nobody taught me how to react. My parents never taught, my teachers never taught, they indeed taught me the ethics, algebra, physics but not about the death of a friend? They taught me about the every kind of losses in business. What about the loss of friend? Why did they not…? And today Bilal taught me through his demise that life… it is a fickle persistence, and death is blue abyss that is to be graced with our souls, death’s silence is heavy metal’s base, no one is to heal the death’s screams, no one is to stop it, it dances its way, away from cares, from the tears and the fears, life is a frail thread and death the robust string with a kite dancing in the skies too high in its folly, and it can’t be, no one can clip it to float it away. Death lies perfectly in life’s equation, he said. We won’t be ready and its manus will clutch us in, and will take our soul away from our dear and near ones leaving them with tears in their eyes and a corpse behind. Only tears… regrets and some memories that are too painful to recall.

And as Emily Dickinson would put in,

All but Death, can be Adjusted––
Dynasties repaired––
Systems –– settled in their Sockets––
Citadels –– dissolved––

Wastes of Lives –– resown with Colors
By Succeeding Springs––
Death –– unto itself –– Exception––
Is exempt from Change––

Eating (deadly dangerous) kids

Sunday, July 25, 2010 by B.H.
The humans under 15, those with the heart diseases, conservatives and not-evil AKA good people are strictly (extra emphasis on the word “strictly”) disallowed to read even a word of this post. *stares* have a nice day :).

I often wonder, what can be the synonym of baby-sitting?
Nightmare? Jeopardy? Or a night in graveyard? But I end up considering even worse synonyms than these. Right now, rather than defining this cold sounding term, I shall ask this horrifying question.

Don’t you just hate those toothpick-bodied, icky, bespectacled and pathetically weak yet idiotically genius little humans and some coward looking but unbelievably brave chubby ones too, who try to run away on winged feet after messing up with major prohibited area i.e. well… your room silly! They don’t even care about the stop, warning, danger and other deadly signs hanging on the door of your precious territory…? Don’t you? Oh yes you do!

Don’t those unholy dangerous creatures i.e. kids give you jitters? *Oh yes they do*.

I still remember when my friend came to me from his home full of *beeps beeps beeps beeps beeps* (banned words by censor board) and started telling me some tales which I didn’t want to listen and didn’t listen. But I remember these following words coming out of his mouth.
My Friend: They are wayyy worse than mental dogs, angry crows, evil teachers and strong bullies. Aaargh!! I hate these bloodcurdling feeble little kids *whimpers*.
I: Stop scaring me! (With shivering yet screaming voice) I am expecting my cousins tomorrow, and I have to bear staying with them the whole day alone *wails*. (And then it hit me yeah lol the idea. I left hurriedly to note it down before it fades away from my dinky brain).
My Friend: Hey where you going?
I: To pwn them!!! *runs away*

I’m sure you also sometimes get chased by satanic kids who try to make fool of yourself by tying something stupid on you, they think they’re smart enough to pwn you.

And they can record the whole embarrassment and shoot it on youtube :-O.

I still remember when once a bunch of satanic (ooops) kids – my little cousins came to visit us in vacations and they just ruined my things, broke my book shelf, drew stupid pictures on my walls, pissed on my bed, read my diary, asked silly questions and think of any disaster, they did! Hence I had to bear the agonizing pain of those god-awful kids staying at my home and sleeping in my room for the whole month, and I was held responsible for everything they did. Why? Why oh my why?

I, being weak, thought that avenging the cruel was out of question. But I had to do something for the others like me. And for that purpose, I sat quietly during the dark hours of electricity blues and dug out some tricks from my brain and came up with useful information about the options one can have when one is fleeing from such things.

This information is useful for you also

Following are the options and the ways discussed to escape from the dangers you normally and unfortunately face in your daily life.

You should keep the following three main rules in your mind while working on the ideas
1) Don’t panic.
2) Don’t fall down.
3) Whatever you do, don’t look back.

There are two types of measure:
1) Safe measures
2) Risky measures

Safe measures for typical cases:

Push them in the pool
This is fun, when your target is anywhere near by some pool, pond or ocean, just push him/her hard so that they can’t see who pushed them and sprint a mile away from the spot and start whistling, remember! Nothing happened, you don’t know anything!

Be nice to them and betray
Yes buy them chocolates and stuff that they like the most and keep on buttering them up until they start trusting you/ liking you, then it’s time! Then take them to mosque, zoo or park – somewhere far from your home and run away. They won’t find their way back to home. Happy 14 August :P

Steal their things
If they are being a huge pain in the neck, you be the hugest pain in their tiny butts, ruin their lives, steal their pencils, colors, all the stationery that they use for their creative projects, and don’t let them eat lay chips, snatch and run. :P The pain of getting scolded by your parents is way less than the pleasure of seeing them in miseries.

A diamond can only be cut by a diamond
As they say give them the taste of their own medicine, if they are being bugging, you be supper bugging with 20% extra on the package. They will certainly scratch their heads and give up.

Tie them and put them in store
If you are working on something and this kid is not letting you do it. Slap on his face and before he starts crying just punch him as hard as you can and then tie him/her and throw him/her in the store and lock the door.

Replace their game CDs with horror movies
My little brother plays games in nights these days or should I say not any more now. I replaced his CDs with all the horror movies that I borrowed from friends. And I enjoyed his mommy mommy sounding screams. *giggles* you should also try this, if your littlies are such pain in the neck.

Take them to Zoo, and cage them with monkeys
Won’t they all look like siblings? Nobody will know :P You might be wondering how you would steal the keys! Well, don’t look at me! Just throw them in the cage.

Pretend your room is haunted by a ghost
Kids are scared of ghosts, make strange voices at night in your room, take help of tape recorder, record the voices and play the tape after midnight. And after that, they’ll stay away from your room and dare I say “from your home”. :D

Scare them by putting on fake costume
If they unexpectedly break in your home, just put on a white bed sheet and scare them by making a strange voice that only ghosts could have. Or buy a special costume for the holy purpose.

Play negative
Must have heard that story? Union is strength. Yeah! Untie the group! Like their father untied the bundle of sticks for them to break the sticks separately in that story. And once the enmity suck their unity up, then play your cards. Aren’t you smart enough to get what I want to say?

Steal their homework at the eleventh hour
Oh yes! To avenge something unforgettable, steal their homework right before they leave for school.

Act like you have some fairy
Always talk to someone in loneliness and make sure they are peeking in your room. And when they ask, scare them, and next time, talk about their murder. Ha!

Never shake hand with kids or high five.
Shaking hand and high-five both are symbol of peace that we don’t want with kids, do we? Certainly not *glares*. So, keep this don’t in mind.

Place a monster dummy before your computer and protect it
Some kids are scared of such things, once on my little brother’s birthday, I wrapped a rubber made and scary looking spider in a glinting sheet and gave him, it was havoc at the moment he opened it, and I was totally rolling on floor laughing out loud.
So, take my advice and keep such things in front of your precious things.

Never let them ask questions if they ask don’t answer
Keep that in mind, or else you’ll suffer. Act deaf and dumb.

Always take your german shepherd with you in park
If you have a doggy and it scares people and specially kids then keep it always with you in parks or in such places where you can get in trouble with kids.

Keep toffees in your pocket to get away from troublesome situation
If you don’t have doggy then you should keep sweets in your pocket to bribe them and sneak out of the spot.

Make sure you don’t have any DVD relating to animes, disney, animated movies and kids’ stuff.
If you do have then simply throw the stuff away. Or get ready for the dangerous situation that is kids wanting you to be their friend. Scary? Yeah throw away!

Find out all the weak points and use the tricks accordingly
Kids do have weak points, and they can be used easily if you know some of them, or know one of their top secrets and enjoy life.

Get them hit by a bus
Push them on the road and get them hit by at least a bus or some bigger vehicle.

Tie them on railway track
But don’t let the train trample on your kid, just untie the rope right when you see the train, it surely will scare them.

Put them in a sack and throw them off the bridge
This is one of those measures that you use when you don’t care about circumstances and just want to get rid of them! Put them in a sack and throw them in some garbage truck or off the bridge.

Risky Measures for special cases:

Pwn them by freeing your dog
Yes, your dog or your friend’s dog, make it go nuts and head towards your target – that evil littlies’ group and set it free on them and then watch and relax. They can’t sprint up to any tree, they can’t climb up trees being little and weak. Success will kiss thy footsteps. And kids will be eaten.
And if they pwn you by freeing dog:
On seeing a dog without owner, all you have to do is act sane even if you are scared, don’t let your legs tremble and try to take control over your sweat glands, And don’t even think about running away. Because, respected dogs take it as insult and go insane. In case if an raging dog is after you, simply sprint up to a tree, and climb it, because dogs can’t climb up trees. Make sure that the dog doesn't catch up to you before reaching a tree. And if there are no trees around, you must run until you see one or climb up something else. Otherwise, dog will catch up to you and eat you.

Hire a strong bully
Be friends with existing bully at their school or hire a new one for them to ruin their tiny lives. And let the bully have fun and make sure you pay the bully regularly. Let the kid s know how it is, living a school life under some bully when your lunch box isn’t yours and you have to do double homework and always in danger of being killed.
If things go wrong and they hire the bully for you!
Just stay calm and cleverly spread rumors about your father being in police department or in secret investigation agency. Then tell smartly made-up stories to your friends about his adventurous experiences with thieves and criminals. Telling a lie for defense is not immoral. Remember! Don’t be so over clever. Take help of your bully friends. Make a puppy dog face while telling them about the other bullies. If they come again, you simply threaten them of calling the cops or of suing them, and run straight to your home – the safest place.

Pretend you are ninja
If you are expecting kids to visit you for short time period:
It is smart wearing a karate costume when they are around, (They will respect you for that), and take fake photographs of your self in black belt or during some stunts and photoshop them and bingo! Frame them in your room. And when they’re not in your room, make Jackie Chene-ian voices to scare them more and make it sound like real. I assure you they will not do anything bad, at least with you.

Go insane, lose your temper
It is never smart of anyone to mess with a mentally retarded kid but if you do, you can still run away. If you think that a retarded kid is going to attack you, you have three options:
A. Turn back, close your eyes, recite some mystical verses and then open your eyes and scream like Tarzan and fight that thing with all your strength. Punch it, slap it or bash it against the wall, Do whatever comes in your mind (In this case you may get hurt or even get martyred).
B. The better option: Take off your shirt and tie it around your neck and run as it is considered that retarded kids like aiming their claws at necks.
C. Yell at that thing and tell it to leave you alone furiously. Chances of survival using this option are about 24%.

If you don’t like these Ideas, please tell me if you have some better ones :)

P.S. Phew! I’m tired!
P.P.S. Please, do not take it seriously, and end up killing kids!
P.P.P.S. This post is for certain people.

And by the way this is my younger monster brother, Hassan, and he's ruined my life, but I love him :)....... evilly : . :P

Scary, no? You have no idea! Sigh.
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An unanswered question

Wednesday, July 21, 2010 by B.H.

What do you see with your eyes closed? What do you see in a foggy morning? What do you feel in sleep? What is written on the moon? What does a goat think when she is alone? Where does the water go, where does it come from? Why does the thunder follow the lightening? Why does it rain? Why do we breathe? Why do you have to live?

These all questions have answers that I don’t want.

Teenage musings… change my life. Please.

Why does that star shine? What is God? Why is He? Why do these tears trickle down? Why do they stream? Why does it hurt right in the middle of my heart? Why do I love you? Why don’t you love me back? Why it has to be like this? Why not like that?

Possibilities are every where, spread all over –– more than dirt-grains in a dingy cemetery, more than the stars in the sky in a clear night from the highest point, more than all the flowers, from this corner to that corner of this planet. She tells ––– I listen.

Why does she tell me every time…? Dare I ask you something? She always tells me to dare? Why? I ask this time… She is speechless… She is still ––– motionless ––– still. I know she won’t talk ­–– answer.

I am the fickle existence ––– like weather.

Say something. Change my life. Please.

I beg, I moan.

I want this cliché to become a surprising event.

Depression days - MCR.. Demolition lovers

Thursday, July 15, 2010 by B.H.

History is mystery! Past is just past...

But I still remember. And ah? you're awake again? I wish you die!
Demolition Lovers

(My room)

Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets

I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and

I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running

But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold

Until the end, until this pool of blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of...

I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold

But this time, we'll show them
We'll show them all how much we mean
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of every...

All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this

As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms
Forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning
Forever, and ever
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun

And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever

P.S. I am officialy a weirdo now. Whatever.

Why do you poetize the life?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 by B.H.
By B.H.

“How shall I wonder not, and ask?
The answers you hide – to unmask”
She looked suspicious –– I had to tell her–––
About the mystery –– ironical and artificial
“If you could spill your dreams out of yourself”
Now she gleams, or it merely seems
A fickle stillness surrounds the place
Of an inside out imagination –– a craze
But no word can tell ––the reason
A walk with solitude? A ride to past?
I asked myself, but–– I told her about
A jolly parrot with no frown––
But a folly smile on its face
It could sing the serenades of love
Far better than the angels of heaven above
A coven – prettiest choir singers
The feelings of love – an innocent felon
Roads ––that sailed and I just stood still
An owl that amused them with its musings
About the giggles of sparrows, the chirps of girls
And about a coward scarecrow and evil crows
How is it living a life –?
A good – in a bad – a life in fog
I told her – pointing at a flossy cloud
“It looks like us” before the sea view
She listens, smiles and kisses my cheek
Quicksilver imaginations! –
Sigh. It was mere a dream.

From my pen, to my diary

Sunday, July 11, 2010 by B.H.
"You are an epic failure, who couldn’t even get his things fixed uptil this day? Day of harvesting!" I hear her saying with a bitter glare and I nod.

So silently, that I start hearing the inner me. A sore tear trickles on the fluffy carpet. And visions yet again come before the closed eyes as ever.

I, whose edges of sanity are always tinged with illusions and confusions. From whence – my delusion deposited in me the harshness and the bitterness – how can I get it fixed?

Beckoning are these major stunning lights of fascinating sinful, beautiful city and yet I resist – I strain – to free her grip from my wrist – wiggle and squirm, wrestle and twist…

And still she pulls me in the crowd – and introduces me with her friends – wearing the solid masks - despair. I even hate the first sight of life. I am not born for this – not for that – not for her – not for you but for this which starts from S and ends with E – the solitude.

Relentlessly pulling – my hand towards the people, she has the epic love for me, that can make my death so peaceful and heavenly, but I am silly or genius. And I try to flee, I can’t break away – the tension – Igniting as – now I want to stay and now as – I break through to sanities side – my eyes leak obtusely – as I realize, the place I’ve come back to… Is chock full of lies…

But I don’t want to stay, leave me, I love thee and I hate it. I am overwhelmed with anger on being piteous and yet feel piteous on being raging and then this monster – hatred comes – as I sprinkle it on both feelings, and I still have this monster – I’m opening the cage… But don’t go! I want you to hate you; I love you to hate you. I am the darkness lost in night, find me.

Dwelling of Past

Thursday, July 8, 2010 by B.H.
By Bahadur Hussain
(Published in Us, The News International)
July 09, 2010.

As if a pile of dirt - tramples my heart
As if a deep abyss - calls my name
And leaves me - a reason to fall apart
As if shackled in - sore cold chain
And I still live in - that dwelling of past
In those snows of love in the year - last
When thy departure seemed - ail in frost...

And it kills a part of me each time
Ailing from inside
Ailing from outside
But where will I go and hide?
If the dwelling is built in my mind...
But I have so many delights to see
Apart from this longing to be free
From the cold shackles
In such a life - not ample
And of eternal longing
Of happiness...
Yet another illusion

So I look at the sky
And shed silent tears
And wish a wish
The raindrops fall
To wash away my tears
To save me from all my fears
To take me away from all my cares...

Mind your language: Slang "twitch"

Wednesday, July 7, 2010 by B.H.
My random dislike!

I seriously dislike your bloody lame slanguage on facebook, twitter and everywhere! So, stop posting these posts at least when I’m online! Normally Pakistani slanguage users alter the spellings of original word to make it cool. Check these statuses out, “In hoxpetal, givin birth.”, “wax havin fun buh kaat ba kaaps!”,”Yo! In mah room imma breathin, sxup?”, “lawl chk dis link out! Dis ix freakin osomestik Uh!”, And “In waxhrum, doin errr *suppressed*”, “X: eyo? xxup? Y: Err Imma smokin weed!”.

Some days ago, someone told me that my jeans looked “spun”. And I was like (O_O), err sorry? He said, “kwl! yay!” haha I couldn’t hold back my laughter, and thought, kool and cool are now outdated and the term “kwl” is also like “so a month old!” Now they say “spun”. OMG! This CD is wicked spun! Eh? OMG is now OMFG, OMFD, Omgooosh and whatever. Some stupid people call their dogs in wonder like, “O my dog!”

My friend told me that, “Justin Beiber’s songs are gay”. Insert a Major (with capital M) LOL (with capital L) here. I mean what the heck? As far as I know the word “gay” has two meanings, one is “very offensive” and not-to-be-discussed-here and the second one is happy, fresh and bright! But never (with eyes closed or opened) try to say, “I am feeling gay today” because the first meaning is dominant. Thanks to slang! Which is now slanguage. Thanks to slang users.

And then those less-than-3-is-equal-to-a-heart-terms i.e. <3 are also in and are considered normal everywhere! And the other one! “Bleh!” I personally like this, because I guess this term is maybe derived from the word “blaah” which was derived from the phrase, “Blah Blah Blah”, I am not going to tell you what “bleh” means, go google yourself! My cousin updated a status 4 months ago and it was, “Yo! Gabba Gabba”. It horrified me as I opened my explorer in no time to google this thing and later I found that it was a TV show in Australia! Phew! (BACHHAT) LOL! Even our local paindoo boys in Urdu, they say “meko aap boht chi lgti how! *acha bacha*”, “Yaaw haawn naw tum meki gar pe aao tum ki dawat ki huwi hei aawj *budha gujjar*!” and “Yaaw son wo teri fown both hi anni hai yaaw!” Orite dis is enuff naw! g2g ttyl! “O yeah I went there!”. You are pathetically laughable! Haha! I think, I “pwn” you (slanguage-users) now! (ooopsi :P) And by the way if you don’t know what “pwn” is! You are soo outdated! *evil* muahaha!
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My faith is shaking – meaningless post

Tuesday, July 6, 2010 by B.H.
It seems those things weren’t even in my blood, flairs perch in my mind and then fly away. My faith shakes for once I had the flair of touching apex in what I was determined to do. My faith shakes, when I feel unable to do this thing. If my faith shakes more, I shall quit. I cannot live in earthquakes…

Stare at my burning
The fiery shadows dance
Stare at my escape

The smoke carries me
Strung together the gray floats
My ashes fly free

The cycle furthers
This life is harsh and deadly
Learn to die freely

Life is too lazy yet a race, I hear every one’s concepts about it. Some call it a quest for purpose; some call it competition and those who have no purpose call it mere breathing, hence it all makes it versatile. For some the best life is the one which is executed everywhere. I shall wander off to everywhere, until I find you.

I wonder...

by B.H.
I wonder at times…What if…

If music listened and ears played
If our brains were the problem that mathematics worked out
If trees chopped and we fell
If we were the tear that the scissors had left
If books read themselves, diaries wouldn’t be private
If songs sung themselves, pop-stars wouldn’t be famous
If money spent itself, society wouldn’t argue
And if Death killed himself, we would be immortal.

If we? Are we? Should we be?
If Death killed itself, we would be immortal.
Therefore the answer forever stands as no;
We will not. We are not. We should not.

No one should change for some one else
For it is against our nature.
Just as a bear would never make honey
And the bees would never steal it.

Forever yourself
United in you
We are alone
Yet one whole too…