Friday, November 5, 2010 by B.H.

I … failed.

I’m going to burst. For sure.
Dear God,
Yes,
I will not pray, no never.
Yes, God, I’m a complete rebel now.
D W Y W, I don’t care.
I T L D O M L
I quit.
Nothing worse can happen.
Than what you’ve been doing to me since the day I was born.
None knows the concept of uncontrollable tears.
Better.
I failed.
Unfair.
Very.
I don’t even need a bear hug.
Not even mom’s.

Say what you want to.
Hurt me.

For I failed…

I… quit.
Goodbye.
And if you ever see me laughing again.
Just don’t believe your eyes.
No more.

But no.
I am fighting.
For nothing again.
'Cause ...

I love you mom. If you ever read this... thank you for the hug.
Time paused when you said, "everything's going to be alright."
Thank you Usama!
Thank you Rehan!
Thank you Bilal!
Thank you Asima!
Sorry, I couldn't... I feel frail.
And Baba I'm sorry. I guess I'm not that smart as you think I am.
I tried. And it's so unfair to me. You know that, right?
...
And God,
...
Posted in | 10 Comments »

10 comments:

S.S said...

Passing through the same =/

Tazeen said...

First time?

[Dear God, take this young man out of misery because... because I said so. Amen.]

Amna Raheem said...

If I see you laughing again, I will believe my eyes.
For I know,that a fall, welcomes a hidden rise.

and well, someone I idealize said this to me once, and I will share it with you,
"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."
-loius l'amour

B.H. said...

Salman , Really?? I felt like the only one on the boat. That sucks.

Tazeen , Yes, for the first time, and failed badly. I mean... blah! It's like, I'm the only one in my friends, who failed. But, I'm okay with that, it's unfair but... happens.

Amna Raheem, It's strange how a random person says something that makes one smile even in situations like this one. I know that quote. =) I was being stupid then, it all came in the heat of the moment. But I owe you a really huge Thanks. =)

Anonymous said...

Lahh! :/ Main tou itni baar fail hoti hoon :p and ammi se itna sorry karti hoon so that she would feel bad while scolding me =P Ye tou hota rehta hai. Life hai koi Karan johar ki movie thori hai =P Na hi Emily ki poems hain :P (jo k I never read except on ur blog ) so face it with all ur might, bad time phases will pass, boi! :D

B.H. said...

Okay lol I mean LOL! I'm actually confused, how to laugh so that you can hear! =P
wo sub tou theek hei Mastarni Sahiba, but the problem is that Meri ammi baba mujhe daant nahi rahay... Hmph! And main boht ganda wala fail huwa hun. Itna bhi ganda nahi tho, but main 'mere level' ka fail nahi huwa, thora neechay level ka huwa hun! =P I wish ke thodi daant parti taake mein seedha ho jata. =/

Muhammad Shahzaib said...

Dude! i was much afraid when i heard about your result..but don't worry bro everything will be ok...n just keep in mind failure always takes the person to the real n actual success n i hope that you will do your best...when ever you need me...I'm with you..tc hugs n love for you

Princess said...

Failure is a step forward towards victory :)
It is part of being a student :P

B.H. said...

Shahzaib! Dude! I'm overwhelmed with gratitude and I feel really lucky to have friends like you. And sure, I'll give my 100%. Thank you so much! Hugs. =)

B.H. said...

Princess! I totally agree with that. You're wiser than I actually thought! =P

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